Friday 2 September 2016

Let’s talk about Fathers

Father’s Day is coming up soon, so I will talk about my dad today… Well Japanese Father’s Day is in June and we celebrated it when we went there, so probably I won’t do anything for my dad this Sunday –instead I will do something for my father in law and my son’s father, but it’s nice to talk about it anyway.

When I was little, I was such a daddy’s girl. I was wearing a harness for my hip problem from 3 months to 10-months old, so my dad was carrying me all the time and my mum worried that my sister didn’t get much attention from him –of course he loved us equally though.

I really loved chatting with my dad in the bath. We made a story about a little girl called ‘sacchan’. It was often about her adventure in forests. From those days, I developed my creativity and love for writing stories.

However, my teenage phase pushed him away a little. When my dad and mum had arguments, my sister and I were always on mum’s side. My teenage phase lasted until late 20s (too long!) when I could really appreciate what he’s done for me. In those days, my mum was in so much pain from relationship with my dad – it’s not violence or anything, just my dad had his own way to do things and he was terribly stubborn. She sometimes cried over the phone. I wanted to blame my dad like I did before, but instead I tried to understand him. I was old enough to do so. Then I found that he was probably lonely in the family last 20 years. I wrote a letter to him thanking for everything he’s done for us. Gradually he changed and now my mum and dad are happy enough.

The last thirty something years, I didn’t do much for my dad. But I still remember how happy he looked when I introduced Paul to him. As soon as he found that Paul had Irish backgrounds, he stood up and shook Paul’s hand (My dad was an Irish literature professor). Now Paul is his favourite son. He loves drinking with Paul at dinner and chatting when we visit. The last 20 years, no one listened to his stories at home but Paul listens to him with all ears. My dad looks really happy.

And what's more, my dad really loves our son Nico. After our two week stay, my dad pretended like he had enough and was happy to have a quiet life back, but he wanted to come to the airport to see us off. When I have chat with my mum over Skype, he pretends like he’s not interested, but he constantly asks my mum to show Nico something they got for him.

I wasn’t a good daughter for him except for the first ten years, but now my husband and son are making him really happy and I can be proud of myself for bringing them to his life.

I hope he will live long so that I can make up for the lost twenty years.

Happy Father’s day!

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